Things I'm having to get used to in the New House

This is not a rant, I am however having to make adjustments. Although the house we were renting was a detached property & this is an end terrace we haven't really down sized as such, more shunted sideways in size. But there there are things that I'm having to get used to, we are nearer a busy road so it is noisier at night & if the kids are being really naughty next door you can hear the screams, stomps & tellings off. We also have a different micro climate as we are on the top of a hill, it is colder & wetter. the garden is more than just a little water logged. I'm hoping that planting the fruit trees in the garden may help with sorting that out. The electrics in the kitchen & the boiler are a little temperamental so we are going to have to sort that out. The oven I'm going to have to keep spotless otherwise the house will fill with smoke. We still need to get rid of boxes, which are empty but need to go back to the owner. We also need to put up shelves so we can properly store the books. But I have to say despite the teething problems I've got to admit I like this place. It is starting to feel like home already.

The Stress of Moving House

I have now moved & yes there may have been the usual worries & some minor irksome situations but we seem to have not had the the nightmare scenarios that some people that we know have had. Are we lucky or just too chilled out? We have not argued, bitched or sniped, yes the djembe that I bought Richrd which was one of the first or if not the first got broken after Richard put his thumb through it, but things get broken & it can either be fixed or replaced. I had mislaid my binoculars & got despondant over them until Rich looked in a box that I could have sworn I hadn't packed them in, but obviuosly had. The cats are probably the ones who were most stressed by the move though as they hid when the removals people came & didn't emerge from behind the sofas in the new place for about 24 hours. Most of the stuff is now moved & the cats are now exploring. All the boxes are unpacked & now all we have to do is get the last couple of things from the previous house & give it a good clean. Not bad for a week's  work & the new place is feeling homely already, though we do need to get used to the quirks of the house. Like the alarm that goes off for no apparent reason on a thankfully rare occurence & the fact that there are power surges & the washing machine needs to be moved so the pipe will fit better & not leak & getting the boiler which is thankfully still under warrantee sorted as it drips. But thankfully nothing too major has happened. There has been some stress as my eczema has made an appearance on my forehead, but generally quite happy with the move as it is closer to family & some of my friends, although I do miss some of my old neighbours already.

Clearing Out the Rubbish

This not a metaphor, it is not until you are moving house do you realise how much rubbish you accrue, having a good sort out just proves this. We have 2 Christmas trees we discovered when clearing out the loft & it appears we have been using the scrattier looking one. I also cleared out the medicine cupboard to find that half of the remedies were out of date. We have had 3 charity shop runs with various items & then when it comes to packing up the stuff you do want it fills way more boxes than you expect. I have been brutal with the cull of random items that we don't need but still we have loads. Why do we accrue so much? I'm drowning in a sea of boxes. I'm keeping this post short due to needing to get cracking with packing & tidying. Take care & I shall post from the new house.

Be Kind to All Life, Become Vegan?

This is not an attack on veganism or vegetarianism just a question which I have wanted to ask for a while & would like to know an answer to. A friend on facebook recently put a post up about the blatant disregard for life within the poultry rearing industry, isn't it time you went vegan? Which also lead me to remember a sign on a vegan march in Birmingham which had a sign saying 'Be Kind To All Life Become Vegan'. Now I'm not arguing that farming practises in this day & age are all fine & dandy & the animals don't suffer at all, in fact the opposite rings true, I think all people should rely a little less on eating animals & then perhaps then with a change in that habit we would be more able to keep animals in a more humane way. My argument falls like this, a blatant disregard to all life surely should encompass that of plants, just because they can't talk does not mean they can't communicate, they have pheromones for that & they do respond to each other, acacia trees let other trees know that there are giraffes nearby so they can produce a chemical that will make their leaves unpalatable for the giraffe if it decides that the acacia that it is feeding on has gone too bitter so will try to wonder to another to continue feasting on. Plants suffer, if you pick a bean, courgette, chilli or tomato off a plant, it will grow another, not because it wants to, but needs to to survive, essentially harvesting fruit is committing abortion in the plant world. Blanching vegetables, is starving them of light, which helps provide some of its food therefore malnourishing the plant, just so chicory, rhubarb, dandelions etc don't taste quite so bitter. Then there is the cut & come again salad crops which suffer from a regular disembowelling by removing their leaves. So is this being kind to all life? Or is this if it doesn't make a sound, it doesn't count as it must be a lesser being?

Death

Samhain is almost upon us so lets talk about death. Halloween isn't just about getting dressed up as scary things like vampires, ghouls & Anne Widdecombe. For the likes of us it is a time to honour those who have gone before us, those who are directly related to us, our friends, those who have fought for our rights & the ancestors from time immemorial. It is this time that it is said that the veil between this world & the spirit world are at its thinnest. This maybe be because at this time it was a time when creatures that could not be fed over winter were culled & stored. That the winter was a time for the weak if they got ill would be less likely to survive. To that we are not entirely sure, but any of the suggestions are kind of plausible. One thing is for certain that very few of the customs of old are still practised today, not many families leave an extra portion of food for a deceased relative, not many pay homage to the dead at all they just like to have a party & dress up, though I don't have too much of a problem with that if they make an effort with their costume. So whatever you are doing this Halloween remember a loved one past. Now we should not be afraid of death we should embrace, it is inevitable, though I'm in great hurry to shuffle off this mortal coil, I will not fear it when it comes.

Finding Unexpected Things

I'm starting to get ready to move house which means getting rid of a whole load of rubbish but whilst doing so I sound some lost 'treasures' including a an old Seal of Solomon of mine, a ring that no longer fits & a Hagstone, so what will I find next & what to do with them next. Freecycle or charity shops next. I'm also finding small change which will go in the new vacuum fund. Old bank statements & payslips are going to be shredded & either recycled or burnt. This is going to be interesting. I see a clothing cull & a book cull too.

Unicorns are not real! well sort of

A 'facebook friend' of mine posted up a very realistic 'photo' of a unicorn, to which someone replied is that real? I almost head butted the computer table in disbelief. I didn't realise that some people could be that gullible, but then why should I be? I once said me hoodie was lined with genuine yeti fur & I got a "really" in response. Unicorns are a misunderstanding of what was being seen, the most likely candidate for the unicorn is the extremely rare Arabian oryx an antelope from the Middle East which is where the first unicorns were reported to have lived, they have 2 horn but if the lose one in a fight it doesn't grow a replacement. The Indian version of such a beast was the karkadan which is mistranslation of what people saw when the encountered an Indian Rhino, which possibly is one explanation of it's scientific name of rhinoceros unicornis. The same way that the centuar is what happened when a none horse riding civilisation saw people riding on horseback & early explorers who met a phoenix fowl came back with the notion of the phoenix. As to what a yeti is I have no idea, perhaps the indigenous race wearing fur, a person playing pranks I have no idea. So go against the juorney song & do stop believing otherwise you will sound foolish

Gay Marriage Rights, Cures & the Tory Support

So this old chestnut again, sorry for revisiting a subject again, but the Tories are in town & along with it so has homophobia. Tories want to not be seen as the nasty party then don't have hate spouting politicians it's a simple equation. There have been conferences against gay marriages & one for gay cures. George Carey former Arch Bishop of Canterbury said allowing gay marriage will lead to a Nazi Germany style state, lets look at this so if gay people get marriage rights, gay people will be asking to be be hated, tortured, held in concentration camps & be gassed, along with Jews, Liberal Politicians, disabled people & Romany Gypsies? Yeah I'm pretty much sure that is not what voting for equal marriage is not going to do that to Britain's society, promoting inequality to keep down the people who aren't flavour of the month does that.

Gay 'cures' are a curious thing, seeing as though being gay is not an illness, it is more like being left handed or being able to roll your tongue. How can your cure something like that, brainwashing someone into being heterosexual when they are not would lead someone into lying about who they really are & last I checked Christianity dishonesty was frowned upon, so why are the radicals pushing it, it is one of the things that is turning people away from the church, not encouraging them, so please stop putting money in chasing phlogiston & put your money to good use like HIV treatments in Africa or anti malarial drugs in the third world & making poverty history. We did not chose to be gay we are just making the best of our lives with what we have got & trying to live our lives as decent honest people.

Voting for X Factor

I don't get it, what is the point? To vote for someone who is to lazy to put the effort into a music career in the first place to be someone else's puppet & not have their own creative input into their music or to have it severely restricted, it allows a lack of artistic merit into our music culture, it does not nurture the talent that it says it does, just stifles the creativity of any contestants that have any, though I doubt many have that, just to provides a homogenised sound & endless uninspired covers that sound very similar to the original, which is rendered a little pointless. A friend on facebook posted a good point, if the people who endlessly harp on about voting for who they want to win X Factor put as much effort into voting for who they wanted to run the country we could be in a much better place by now & I know many people who vote for X Factor candidates who don't vote. I have heard it  been called escapism & from some it is, but to most they of the people I know who call it that don't fully understand what they are escaping from, so therefore it is not escapism because you have to have a fairly decent grip on reality of the events happening in the world in the first place. Please pay attention to what is going on in the world then I will have no objections for you watching a program I care little if anything for.

Home baked goodness

One of the joys of autumn is home baking, the warm welcoming smell of a freshly baked pie or cake, mmm heaven. Not one of my healthiest of hobbies but there is no doubt about it when you have the satisfaction of saying I did that & devouring it quicker than you should, but for some reason because it is home baked it doesn't count, even if it was a chicken & mushroom pie yesterday & a German friendship cake today, which is in the oven as I type. It makes the house feel more homely & is most definitely comforting. I also find that baking also de-stresses me as it slows you down to a comfortable pace & gets your mind concentrating on one thing. If you bake with love it always tastes better. Better sign off as cake will be ready in a sec.

Chaos

With my life being in a state of flux, impeding move, new nephew & niece, promotion with new responsibilities, my foot playing up & the moot taking on a newer role. Chaos seems to be ensuing & it is hard to keep my feet on the ground. So I'm turning to my faith & I seem to have somehow felt disconnected with that too, So what to do? Reconnect with myself & hope everything slots into place. Hopefully reconnecting with my faith will also give me some sense of calm in the transition. Though acknowledging chaos is part of Paganism knowing that you can't control everything but finding your place in the mesh of what is going on is comforting & concentrating on what you can do & what you can influence is the key to managing it, setting out a strategy is key to taming it somewhat could make me feel more at ease. Or should I just ride it & see where it spits me out, not knowing is the scary part, would this create rash decisions, leaving me feel harried & likely to snap or brake down, or it could lead me to discover something new about myself. I think more the previous option is more me, hoping for the best & being prepared for the worse. Coping strategies vary from person to person, some people thrive more on a suck it & see approach & it works for them & who am I to argue with that, challenges define us & you have to except what such a thing reveals & deal with the fallout. So wish me luck & I shall see you at the other end.

Religious Backlashes

Religious extremism hasn't half been busy recently, mainly to fatally or the stuff that hit the news has been. I have not seen the video in question that has caused such controversy, but most people who I know who have seen it have all agreed that the video is poor, that it is some racist Islamaphobic idiot trying to cause more upset. Unfortunately religious extremists of 'Islam' have risen to the bait & started killing people who had nothing to do with the idiot's video (I have put Islam in inverted commas as it is written nowhere in the Koran that you should go around murdering people). I can't think of anyone who thinks that the guy who created the video was right & nobody I know thinks that the fall out from the video was justified either. People in Libya agree too forcing the militias out who carried out the attacks on the American Embassy, the people of Libya Muslim or otherwise condoned what had happened. Muslims are not the only ones who have to put up with the extremism of people of their faith, though the way the news is reported by some right wing news papers you thought it would be, but others do it too. There are people been killed for being witches by Christians in the world which apart from a few notable cases go unreported. There have been those who have burnt copies of the Koran too. But there are extremists in most faiths so don't think I'm anti any particular one it is just that these examples are the ones that stick in people's minds more. So if you want to know how most people feel about these religious conflicts going on ignore the papers, many times you'll see faiths helping each other in the community rather than being at war with each other if you just take your mind away from the extreme few. Think about the innocent Muslims who are being tarred with the same brush as the deranged few etc, & you will come through a better person than those who believe the media hype.

Autumn is truly in the air

With the Olympics & Paralympics over & we are wondering what to watch next, try watching nature, the leaves are beginning to turn, the roses have hips & the brambles are full of blackberries. There also a nip in the air the winds are rising & the showers aren't feeling quite so stiflingly hot. It won't be long till the swallows, swifts & house martins are all gone, but somehow the midges that feed on will still remain. I love autumn it's hues & it's bounty of foods, at the moment I'm taking advantage of the raspberries in my garden by making chocolate & raspberry cheesecake & my chillies are for off from being ready to pick either. So if you have time to go outside, do & see the wonder of nature, though you may want a waterproof or a light jumper.

Paralympic Closing Ceremony Part 2- What was amazing about it

So it was not all bad the closing ceremony, in fact most of it was amazing. It has got people talking. There were apparently Iluminati symbols in there which got the conspiracy theorist's tongues wagging, all you have to do is put an eye or a clock somewhere & people are all oooh did you see that? OK possibly not the best starting point of reference for the post but it did get the ball rolling. I must admit I loved the steam punk aspect of it, a mock Victoriana which quite often has London as it's base in many a steam punk novel, with the fact they gave a nod to it was very clever indeed. The second part of it that I was impressed with was the overtly Pagan nature of the festival, the fact that they used part of a rite from BDO multi path Pagan ritual was inspired, it fitted the theme well & not many people I know didn't pick up on it. So has Paganism had it's first major public airing & will people respect that? After all we can now say, our beliefs are akin to that, people now have a reference point as to vague notion of what we do, just without the spectacle of the steam punk & excessive amounts of Coldplay. But combined it provided an impressive watching experience even if you do have to mute it & play your favourite music over the top of it. Well done London 2012 what a fantastic Jubilympic year it has been.

The Paralympic Closing Ceremony Part 1- Taking the focus away somewhat

There are 2 things I want to say about the Paralympic Closing Ceremony, so number one I shall state today, as although the visual part of the ceremony was stunning, the music AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! There was way too much Coldplay, it turned the closing ceremony from an amazing spectacle to an infuriating concert, not band/artist should have taken over the stage for whole of the event, it made it seem the event was about Coldplay, not about the athletes who did their nations proud. It made my blood boil that they went on for sooooo long, Coldplay are OK in small doses or if you are a huge fan of them seeing then in concert would be fine, but then you are expecting & have paid for that long of a set. They definitely lost a lot of respect from me, not that huge amount their to begin with. they should not have been allowed to do that, other artists should have been allowed on the stage & then a proper party atmosphere could have got under way, many of the people there were only being carried by the energy of the visuals & the emotion that came with such a momentous event. If the Paralympics hadn't been exciting & the artistry been amazing they would have slumped the atmosphere further, they milked it for all it was worth. When they did have special guests on there was Rihanna & JayZ who are some of Britain's finest exports in music (please read in a sarcastic voice) & didn't really showcase the talent much of the GB Paraorchestra which having watched a program about them earlier in the day would have been amazing to have more of. So tanks Coldplay for stealing the limelight from the achievements of others & making the closing ceremony a little less spectacular than it should have been.

Christians Fighting for Equality

This is a bit of a sensitive subject & I know I have to tread carefully, but there are 4 Christians fighting against dismissal from their workplace because of their faith, one at least was sacked due to the fact as a sex therapist he wouldn't have been willing to advise a same sex couple on how to improve their sex lives, but  taking this one into account, wouldn't we be offering a hierarchy of discrimination if you let somebody because of his faith not do his job properly, because he doesn't agree with something that the people coming to see him have no control over? Before going into this profession he should have thought about what it would entail & either going along with it or choose another career path. He wouldn't have been allowed not to to treat couples of a different ethnicity different or disabled different so why should he be allowed to do it with LGBT people. The similar point has to be made about the registrar who refused to do civil partnerships. If it was all just Christian bashing for the sake of it & not tied up with other equal rights issues then I would have sympathy for him, but this is not the case in his case, the 2 other cases I feel are examples of this. The other 2 cases are a flight attendant & a nurse who refused to remove their crucifixes. that is direct discrimination without other equality issues, it would be the same as asking a Muslim woman not to wear a hijab or a Sikh not to have a turban if they worked in a certain place, which would have been deemed unacceptable by society, it should not be one rule for one faith & a different one for another.

Should the Paralympics exist?

I have been just as glued to the Paralympics as the Olympics & Team GB are doing us proud, but do we need a Paralympics? Why don't we just have have the Olympics & grade them to ability of athletes? Or is it that people are worried that the rounds with the disabled competitors won't get watched as much as the able bodied ones as we don't promote them as much? All I can say is that it is Team GB's Paralympic athletes that are the more successful on the whole as far as Team GB's athletes go, we are not far off the amount of medals won as the Olympic team won for the whole of the games & yet we are only half way through the Paralympics. Something I also found interesting was an interview with Tanni Grey-Thompson, was that it was in her words infuriating & quite patronising to say that they were brave for doing what they do as bravery does not come into it, that there are still rivalries, people are just as competitive & it is just the athletes doing their job. I can't really argue with that as when my mother was in a wheelchair & doing the best to lead a normal life with her illnesses. People with disabilities doing everyday thing are just that people doing everyday things like anyone else. But at the end of the day well done again Team GB.

It's about what you can do

One thing I hope people will get from the Paralympics is a sense of not beating themselves over what they can't do, but celebrating what they can do. If you look at the athletes, they have over come amazing odds to excel in the sports that they do, some border on the ability of being in the Olympics with the times that they set despite having a disability. These are good role models to show what you can do if you try hard enough. This statement is not aimed at disabled people, this aimed at all people. How many of us say we can't do something without at least trying, or give up after the first couple of attempts. I'm not particularly computer literate & I'm dyslexic but felt like writing this blog would be a good thing for me to do, to help out on accounts, though I do need to take some decent photos to load onto this blog. But hopefully there will be a change in attitude, even with me perhaps I will eventually learn to play a musical instrument. Living in hope Pagan Chapain

Crystals

It's been a while since I touched upon a Witchcraft subject, so I'm going to talk about these sparkly beauties. Crystals have been big business in the New Age & Pagan markets & many books have lists of crystals & their attributes. I've trained in crystal therapy, don't judge me it was a free course & it did definitely do something, but I have a feeling that it was more down to the placebo effect, I believe this due to the fact if 'energy' came into it sure it would bare the scars of a wounded planet possibly wounded men & women as a lot of our beloved crystals are far from ethically sourced, the recent political battles with the platinum mines are case in point. So if they have these energies that heal why don't they bring the energies that harmed the people or landscape in extracting them? Yes gemstones have different properties in their make up diamond being pure carbon, quartz being a silicone dioxide as well as a high scoring word in scrabble, but are we holding on to superstition just for a mass market or does it really work & my scepticism is just working overtime. Does the leaving them out in the sun destroy the 'negative energy' by radiation & the full moon 'realigns the energy' through it's magnetic pull. I never thought I'd see the day when I might put science into said post. I suppose quartz does power watches, but if you wanted quartz that badly go in your garden, those white round pebbles are quartz, Britain is full of quartz, you don't need to get it from some country thousands of miles away, flown in at the expense of the carbon footprint of the planet & at least you know it's ethically sourced & you haven't harmed the planet to get them. I do admit though that I have kept some of the crystals I bought in my less enlightened as to how they were sourced days.

The Right to Die

With Tony Nickilnson shuffling off this mortal coil, dying of natural causes it does bring up many thoughts on the right to die. With his death I can't help feeling confused on what I should be feeling, should I be glad that his wish was fulfilled or sad that he had no say over when he went? As to whether or not I would say I agree with euthanasia is a difficult call. In a clean cut world it could be be seen as an easy decision to make, if they are in a position where they feel trapped in their body & are unhappy then they should be allowed to make that decision. The world however is not that clean cut, there are some people who may not want the burden of someone who is totally reliant on them to everything for them & may press the person into wanting to die and made to feel worthless. In the case of Alzheimer's disease how can someone in the more advanced stages consent? How would somebody know when they feel the time has come, when they are confused themselves? It is not an easy question to be answered, which is possibly why it keeps failing in parliament to shift either way. There are some people despite crippling illnesses like these who achieve great things, Professor Stephen Hawking being a prime example of this, rising through the ranks of science despite having motor neurone disease. What would I do if faced with a similar dilemma, at one point I thought I knew, but if it came to the crunch would my opinions still be the same?

Sexual Attacks

This is probably going to be the hardest entry for me to write having been indecently assaulted by a woman at the age of the 13, the same time I was coming to terms with the fact that I was gay, but it does seem that issues relating to sexual attacks are hitting the press rather a lot of late. Julian Assange who did a good service to the world with Wikileaks has now become a hypocrite, telling the world to face up to what they have done & yet won't even face trial for his own sexual assault charges in Sweden, whilst trying cause civil unrest to try & hide the unforgivable act that he is accused of. Then there are the down right stupid & irresponsible words of Todd Akin saying that women's bodies are unable of pregnancy if it is legitimate rape. It all smacks of of a blatant disregard for someone's sexuality & their right to be in charge of their own bodies & that somebody can come along defile somebody & not face consequences. This is also marred when someone has a sexual encounter that that they consented to but regret afterwards & then claim rape afterwards as some sick, twisted power play. Plus people blame other cultures of rape or sending people into prostitution, often with little or no proof, or tar the whole group of people with the same brush as a sick & twisted small minority that do not represent the rest of the group. All sexual/indecent assaults & rapes should be punished as it destroys lives, but so to do false accusations. If you are in a place sexually where you don't want to be say no, get yourself out of the situation & if it is not possible always report the attack as you you may not be the only victim, yes it is scary, but talk, there are groups who will listen & offer support & advice, you are not alone. On the flip side if you consented to something you later regretted learn from it, which is what I did, having experienced a non consensual attack before it happened, I can tell the difference between the 2 even though they both feel emotionally raw. Keep safe.

Quicktime

Perhaps I'm a victim of the instant society, I order online & it arrives in a couple of days. I recently, well not so recently bought a hoodie from America, so far it has taken 2 months to get here it is due to arrive today. It was meant to be for my nephew's birthday, which was over a month ago. But going back not that long ago this would not have seemed that unusual, perhaps I should have pre empted this & ordered it 4 months ago, but it is the first time that even something from America has taken this long to arrive. In all fairness though they did not take the payment until it was well on its way, which I suppose is a good thing. But just as I was thinking it there were a couple of independent t-shirt retailers in Britain who took a little while to deliver, perhaps it is more of  small business thing in which case, I should be more patient as they have fewer staff to put through larger orders. But beyond just getting gifts, I do feel that perhaps we try & do things far to instantly, how many people take time to cook nowadays, people want higher speed travel & communications, just feeling frustrated a reply to an email can sometimes take a few hours rather than seconds ignoring the fact that sometimes people are busy elsewhere. In the days of post it would take longer & that was not that long ago. So perhaps we should learn patience, my German friendship cake was not instant but well worth the wait. Perhaps I should follow my own advice a bit more too. Good things come to he who waits including promotion, woohoo.

The World has not gone away just because the Olympics is here

I am guilty of referring to the Olympics a lot, but I have not let the rest of the world go unnoticed, there are still problems in the Middle East, Gore Vidal died, South Sudan & Sudan have come to a trade agreement, the north of India had a major power outage. A millionaire gets found murdered in London. Has the Olympics provided a much needed screen to develop peace or is it clouding us from what is actually important in the world. Are we just getting carried away just so we can have just a couple of weeks thinking that all is well in the world? Is it helpful? One thing for sure this time this year is a stark contrast to the riots of last year & yet the country is still in an economic turmoil. Perhaps the unification of this country behind one thing has done us good at a very tough & turbulent time. But please everyone do not take your eyes off the ball as far as the rest of the world is concerned.

The Olympics so far

With the opening ceremony not embarrassing us, well mostly, the chronological order of history was out a fair bit & a random volunteer leading out India, what can we say? Well good things & bad, as of time of writing this Team GB have not got a gold medal (though hopefully this is about to change, but not holding my breath). One amazing thing is that every team this year has a female competitor, it has surprised me that it took this long but hey, there is also women's boxing for the first time too, so yay for women's rights. The amount of openly LGBT competitors is down though, so not quite so good, but that is probably more to do with the qualifying times/scores of the individuals & the ability for some of the athletes to be out. We're doing OK as a nation on medals but not fantastically. But as an event for Great Britain well it doesn't seem to be working out too well financially. the British tourists are staying away from Olympic areas as they are expecting the traffic to be a nightmare & most hotels have put up their rates 10 fold so putting them out of price reach for somebody wanting to take in a show in London for the weekend or go to the beach at Weymouth. Stratford-upon-Avon however has had a boost to there economy because people want to see Shakespeare's stomping ground. A fair few of the sponsors of the Olympics had been tax dodging until protesters tightened their grip on them & looking at the Olympic sponsors, why don't we go all out in unhealthiness & have KV the official pork scratchings of the Olympics & Mr Kipling & Ginsters can have a go too. Then there is the empty seats, although they do seem to be seeing to that already. Will the Olympics boost our economy the answer seems to be no at the moment, with the irony that now London's attractions are so quiet now that it would be the perfect time to visit them. So far though I have been enjoying them, predominantly because I have been selective what I have been watching. But what happened to the quintessentially British sports of tossing the caber, gig racing, cheese rolling, pub skittles & street football? We were even good at tug-o-war back in the earlier days when it was an Olympic sport, why did we not see those we could have stood a chance of getting a gold in those, OK with the exception of gig racing & tug-o-war they are not international but we could have seen something interesting. Anyway off to check the medals board.

Giant fiery ball of doom

Yes it has appeared in the sky again, it has been a rare occurrence this year but it is back, this means I go into a semi hibernation mode as to not lobsterfy when I put the washing out etc, it also means I shall have to worry less about slugs. What it does mean is flies, as my cats won't eat all of their food which means our conservatory goes black & starts to buzz, feeding them outside might be a better plan. I have however mowed the lawn & trimmed the hedges early this morning so I don't have to wait till the evening to do it & can get on with everyday household tasks here on in until about 5pm when I feel I can safely go out in the garden without having to dress like a ninja. Also it means I will get even more snuffly with hayfever.I don't hate the summer, its just that summer hates me.

50 Shades of Mummy Porn

Well how many women do you know who haven't either read it or are waiting to get it? I bet the amount is shrinking. It seems strange that what would normally pass away as a small footnote of erotica has now become a best seller. Are women becoming more desensitised to the slightly more unusual side of sexuality? Are they trying to spice things up a bit? Or trying to reinforce the idea of a bog standard sex life is actually what is needed? Or just a good bit of escapism? What ever the reason I have heard some rather interesting conversations about it & the topics it contained within, introducing people to things that they had no idea about. Is it freeing society, making people explore their sexuality more? Is it corrupting it, making people more voyeuristic? Which ever it is, it has made EL James a very wealthy woman, although what I have heard it wouldn't win much in the way of literary awards except maybe a Lemon Drizzle Dildo in the Mummy Porn Awards. I must admit I haven't read it but then again man on woman doesn't really hold that much appeal in that kind of sense. If you've read it & enjoyed it good for you, if you bought into the hype & then was sorely disappointed, you shouldn't set your standards so high for a mass marketed product. Ah the marketing that is truly the key to its success, got to love how companies can push things to people, anyone for Iceland chicken nuggets?

Worst Make Up Ever

Yesterday, whilst on my lunch break from my retail job I went for a wander to walk off lunch a bit & whilst wandering down the one end of the shopping centre I spied a drag queen, ridiculous eyebrows, pale pink lipstick, orangey foundation the works, that was until I realised it was a woman who wasn't wearing her make up for comedy effect, it was tragic, funny & shocking in equal measure but it is not the first time I have noticed women wearing bad make up, OK no where near as bad as that, but I have seen some that have come close. Some of the women I have seen wearing the make up might have even looked pretty if they hadn't got on a layer of coloured ceramic crushed into lard on their faces. seriously the more make up you put on the more hideous most people look. Keep it simple, no guy wants to have that smear on his t shirt when when he hugs you, or too wait 5 hours to put a clown mask on or wait 3 hours for you to take it off again. I'm not sure what they are trying to achieve with their make up but it sure isn't beauty with the hideousness that I have seen. Be proud of what you look like, don't hide it. Oh & I have also found a direct correlation with women with that kind of make up with the Russell Brand hairstyle too which is more disturbing so not only do they look hideous now they will look even worse when their falls out because they have damaged it soooo much.

British Sporting Acheivements

Wow I managed to to watch some sport this year, OK it was tennis & being as though I was ill did sleep through a fair amount of it but it was good to see a British player at a final of well anything, well done Andy, you may not have won but you did lose to the best tennis player in world history & you did win a set against him & lets face it we haven't had a British player in the men's final at Wimbledon since Fred Perry. England still hold The Ashes (surprisingly), England was ranked number 1 in Rugby in 2004, but we do tend to fair badly in football & the Winter Olympics, so what does this tell us about about our sporting achievements, that we have it in us as a nation? Must try harder as a nation? That in some sports we hit above target? If you talk to anyone about Britain/England & they will give you different answers, some say we are nation who prides our self at being crap at any sport, I think that is a little unfair, if we good at every sport & we won everything it would make watching it boring, the fact that everyone with exceptions has a relatively equal chance of success at sport makes it interesting. Sport doesn't particularly interest me too much, I like it when Britain/England do well but don't get to over excited by the prospect of us in sporting or to be honest most other competitions, I think we should pride ourselves & doing OK & wish all of our Olympic hopefuls well but not to put too much pressure on them. Though we could of let them train on our own facilities like all the host nations do.

The Higgs Boson & Creation

Bad luck Prof Stephen Hawking you are $100 out of pocket, but well done to those at CERN for finding what they set out too. Though it does pose the question what next? Create a mini universe by seeing how it reacts with other particles? OK that is simplifying way too much but the possibilities are endless in understanding how the universe was created rather than saying God did it. Although I am a man of faith I do not ignore science, as those who do often end up looking stupid & end up with the answer of 'because it is & that is how god made it' which is not a an answer in the slightest as there is no evidence to back it up & to say you don't need evidence is close minded & arrogant. Always question things even if it does take you out of your comfort zone. Stories of creation were told in their ways as people just didn't know & were trying to make sense of it all with little knowledge or equipment to work it out. Though scientist may have gone some way to understand how the universe happened it doesn't answer the why, that is when you if you so wish add in your deity, but do at least put some effort into explaining why if you are going to speak publicly about it, rather that 'it just is'. We know the world was not created in 7 days by a beardy bloke on a throne in the sky, it wasn't some cosmic lotus or ash tree either, these are analogies & treat them as such. What the people at CERN did was amazing & does not detract from the magic/miracle of the universe & just by trying to explain how it happens can only add to the beauty & awe of it. On another plus side we didn't get sucked into a black hole like the media said we would.

Not being a morning person

This post is being written as I am still half asleep & will not be able to write something sensible on politics, U turns, cuts etc, even though that is generally what I listen to when I wake up of a morning. It will sink in by about the middle of the day when I have properly woken up. I find it difficult to get out of bed, so warm & cosy & sleepy. It isn't until I have eaten breakfast done my exercises & had a shower that I feel human & isn't until after lunch do I even feel remotely intelligent. I tend to sleep soundly & deeply unless I hear a strange noise & generally sleep between 6-8 hours so it isn't a lack of sleep. Perhaps its because I have a deep loathing of coffee, the taste & smell of it & can never be bothered to make myself a cup of tea. Maybe its because I'm a lazy trout or perhaps I'm just not wired that way, either way I don't feel fully awake will talk more when my eyes stop threatening to shut& my doesn't want to use the keyboard as a pillow.

Should the United Kingdom still be united?

With the Queen visiting Northern Ireland to congratulate them on how the peace time reforms are going, which is a brave move seeing as though half of Northern Ireland is militantly anti Royalist, but still shakes hands with Martin McGuinness of ex IRA fame who seems to have mellowed from the violent bombing days to try & do something useful in today's day & age of politics, a move which I whole heartedly approve of, but there are plenty of people in the country who don't want to be in the UK do not recognise the Queen as their sovereign & do not want to be ruled by Westminster either (can't say I blame them). Scotland wants a referendum on opting out of the UK & be ruled from Holyrood, I'm not surprised there either seeing as though we caused so many wars & a whole lot of poverty there. There is also a lot of ill feeling in Wales but generally they are not quite as militant about it & if you want to go the whole hog you also have an independent front in Cornwall too (possibly the least English county in England, which I love it for). So where do we take it from here? Do we give it to them, let them make their own mistakes, find their own funding, generate their own industries in an economic climate that would make it hard for any new economy to prosper, but would at least give them a chance? Do we keep us all together until the time when it is easiest for us all to prosper & hope the government doesn't screw us over any more, making them resent Westminster even more? It is a tough one, but I have got to admit I don't want to need a passport to go to Scotland, Cornwall, Ireland or Wales, but do see them as Celtic lands with traditions, histories & languages different to our own. But then again I don't want to be ruled by Westminster at the moment either, can we have the 7th Century Kingdom of Mercia back please?

Natwest fiasco

I was stuck in this, for four days I did not have proper access to my account, but hats off to the people at the front facing level, it was frustrating to have to wait half an hour to get my money to pay my dues. I'm just glad I got off lightly, did not get blacklisted, have a house deal collapse or have to spend a short stretch in prison for none payment of fines like some people did. It does make you wonder though why a company so big wouldn't have made sure that they had the software/hardware to deal with such a situation if it arose, although in the short term it may seem a bit pricey but the damage that they are now going to have to put right are is going to cost more & the customers that they have lost & are losing because of it is going to cost them way more. Companies should not cut corners or eventually they will fall on their asses,. Local councils working on the highways agency is another case in point of this as they are using cheaper materials to resurface our roads with & we are now in the midst of having millions of potholes in the road & are having to resurface the roads every couple of years which they didn't have to do before. Its just with  Natwest with the recent scandals you would have thought they would have learnt their lesson from complacency, but it appears not & they feel that they are immune as they already one thing go wrong so nothing else could possibly go wrong. It is the wrong attitude to take & you are only doing yourselves more harm, sort it out & plan for if the worst should happen & hopefully in these uncertain economic times you won't go under.

Solstice Morning

Last night the celebrations commenced with going to see Amanda Palmer & The Grand Theft Orchestra, which was really enjoyable even if the small of my back hurt afterwards, but a small price to pay for the most anticipated birthday present of this year, this however meant a trip to London (oh the hardship of having to stay in a hotel & not have to cook) which meant Solstice morning arrival in a strange place I didn't see the sunrise as it was cloudy & slightly moist out, but still made the effort which for me is not easy as I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. If only I could have remembered where City Henge was erected & knew how to get there I may have travelled out to it. Perhaps I should have bought some bourbon biscuits & created a henge of my own in the dryness of my hotel room, though I doubt it would have the same effect as being outside. I don't seem to have been the only one in the square who was also observing it as there was a couple on the doorstep to their own flat as well as I what I am assuming there was a Witch in her back yard doing the same as there was a basement flat with Kitchen Witches in her window, her/him light was on but she/he was not out in the square & a cat came out from the corresponding yard (OK it may be that I have jumped to a conclusion on that one but it was nice to think there was a few of us out there). But across the country many people have braved varying weather to welcome the sun in & who can blame them. However you guys celebrated it I hope you had a good one. All the best Pagan Chaplain

Don't be the bad man

If life has been a little shit to you & people piss you off or ride rough shod over you do not make yourself look like the bad man, by all means seek justice/karma whatever, but don't make yourself look like the bad man, you will not garner support by doing it. It is a hard thing not to do, I'm certainly not perfect & I have learnt from bitter experience this. Quite often the wrong doer will slip themselves up especially if you do the stuff you need to underneath, but if you yell, point fingers at all their inadequacies & call people rather unpleasant things in a way that is far from dignified then people will think what a prick & it will have the opposite effect of what you want. Be clever, keep your head & things will work out well in the end.

Having belief in yourself

Two posts in one day, woohoo, more to do with the fact that I was supposed to have don one of them yesterday but got sidetracked. So today's meant to post today post is this. As mentioned in my previous post I go to the Pride Proms, which is performed by the BGSO. Each time they pick something that is a bit tricky, they end up stressing, why I'm not entirely sure as they usually pull it out of the bag, this time being no exception. But one of people's main problems mine included if the truth be told is having belief in your self that you can do something. Confidence that you can do something goes a long way in helping you to do it. When I fail in something, it is usually when I don't believe in myself in what I am doing, OK sometimes things don't work out quite as well as anticipated but don't let that put you off, learn from it & then prepare yourself for the next time you have to do it knowing that you not to make whatever mistake it was again & you are approaching things differently rather than hide away, concentrate on what you do well & not what you make mistakes on & you will find you make fewer mistakes & are less likely to fade into the background. The ones who appear confident are the ones that shine & the ones that get noticed in the things that they do & who they are. So go out there be confident & people will appreciate & notice what you do more. Be bold

Other things that fall on your Birthday

It happens most years, perhaps I should get used to the fact that I'm not meant to celebrate my birthday, One major thing that seems to always fall on my birthday are major footballing events & people wonder why I fail to be excited by England matches when half the time it means my birthday plans get sidelined again. I'm 32 now & am yet still waiting for a chance to celebrate my 30th as the opening ceremony of The World Cup fell on that day with England's first match being the day after, last year it was not football admittedly but it was the Pride Proms which clashed, this year it was England v France, come on please leave my birthday free of things, my birthday also consisted this year of the money I received for my birthday going on a pair of shoes which goes with my other birthday present of a suit to go to my cousin's wedding in. So hopefully next year on my 33rd birthday I can celebrate my 30th & have it all about me for once.

Men Crying

I cry, simple as, I cry for many reasons, usually through laughter, but there are times I cry because I'm upset, I have had a lot to deal with in my past & it is a good emotional release mechanism to have. I find bottling up my emotions counter productive, it leaves me irritable, snappy & a thoroughly unpleasant person to be around & it would only take something minor to unleash a tirade of abuse on some unsuspecting person in a way that is disproportionate as to what they have done, making them feel crappy & possibly perpetuating said cycle with them. I find it all self destructive & could lead to abusiveness in some people. If you have something inside you that is upsetting you, let it out, if it is something another person can help you with seek them out. Crying is not weakness, it is a release, the thought of manning up take it on chin will just build up resentment, don't be ashamed. If I'm angry I also cry if I get to a certain point, because if I don't I tend to end up with something of an Incredible Hulk complex & someone of my size that is a scary prospect, if I'm angry & I start to cry don't taunt or push me I'm merely trying to stay in control, the best thing to do is walk away & leave me to it. But to many people men crying is taboo, it is something that girls do, men shouldn't cry, this is bollocks, if they did cry perhaps there would be less idiots in the world. So next time you need to cry whether you are a man or a woman just do it it brings relief, if need be do it behind closed doors if you are really that bothered by what other people think, there are worse things you could do.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Confession time, I have post traumatic stress disorder, which leaves me with the overhang of depression for the summer months, so what was so traumatic to cause it, well first off I was indecently assaulted when I was 13 years old by a girl who was a year to a year & a half older than me, then at the age of 21 there was the fact I was almost murdered by spiking from a jealous ex & then there was the mugging at 23 which if it weren't for alternative medicine I would have been left blind in my right eye. It leaves you questioning life & its worth, it leaves you feeling like is your life actually worth living? What are you living for? There are days when you just don't feel strong enough to cope, today is one of those days. I go about my day doing the best I can to cope, to help people out where possible so I don't feel quite so worthless. I'm not my usual talkative self today, I'm sorry, but I kinda needed to write, thought it might do me some good. I'm not the only one in the world that suffers from it, though at times it doesn't feel like it. It takes a lot to come out of the loony closet, if you know someone who has mental health problems, don't shy away from them, it is at that time they need their friends most

Drag Queens

I'm starting to find the older I'm getting the less entertaining drag queens are getting, or is it that there are too many around doing the same old thing. There are some who are funny in their own rights as comedians, but that has more to with the fact that they actually have some talent, but the scene does seem to be saturated with drag queens that do little more than mime badly to songs & yet some people still go mad for them. What is the appeal? Is the art of drag just heading into one trick pony territory? What happened to art of satire with them? Are current crop getting lazy & thinking all you have to do is put on a frock, do bad make up & flounce to Lady Gaga is enough? Because the only time that is entertaining is when a child raids their mothers bedroom, bursts in into the living room, proud as punch because they are emulating their favourite popstar & that is only funny because its cute, if you are an adult inject humour into it, be topical or at least be interesting. The original cabaret was controversial & was aware of the current climate & not just musically, in general & they had stuff to say even if it was put it in a funny, mocking way. Congratulations to all the drag queens that do still do that, to those that don't, try harder for goodness sake or you will degrade the cabaret seen as a poor shadow of what is was & what it stood for.

Jubilations to A Diamond Bird or Am I Much of a Royalist

As well as it being the second day of Birmingham Pride, I doubt anyone would have been able to avoid frenzy that is the Queen's diamond jubilee (at the point of seeing the word frenzy being typed my other half suggested sea monster or giant pooh), we do seem to have gone mad for a monarchy that half the time we want to see fall flat on their face or want to see abolished. Royals today don't seem to have the power they once did but at least they are not trying to kill each other to try & get the crown, so is it any wonder that she managed a diamond jubilee? I tend to find I have a love/hate relationship with the monarchy, they do have some uses & they do generate a fair amount of income as well as being a figurehead for the country & as far as rulers go they don't appear be the dictators that there are in other countries. But then I also feel that they are only their because a couple of thousand years ago a power hungry idiot wanted to suppress a nation by uniting it make it seem a positive rather than an egotistical power trip, but then again if they hadn't somebody else would, plus is our Queen really our monarch or is Michael Hastings our true King? Liz has done her bit for her country & she has over seen many changes in our country both better & worse & never seems to be out of the public eye for us to to scrutinise her, So you have to give her her dues as not many people can do that without crashing & burning, I doubt I would have coped as well in that position. So congratulations or something, have your expensive party & enjoy yourself.

Birmingham Pride, Fun & Games or Something More?

I have been going to Pride for 14 years now or is it 13? I can't remember but it has been a long time, to begin with it was nothing more than a good day out for me, the politics of it were pretty much lost to me, things have rather changed, perhaps that is because ever since 2004 I actually got involved with it. It gets under your skin, the politics, the showmanship, the community. One thing is for sure it doesn't just happen, even with the little bits that I get involved in there is stress & I'm only a very minor player in the event, I would hate to go through what some of the main contributors to Pride have to go through. Although I still enjoy Pride it is more for business than pleasure nowadays, supporting the Pagan group, the interfaith network etc. I have also made my flying monkey outfit ( the theme for our float is safari & I decided to go tongue in cheek). The year they cancelled the march as they saw it as not important so protest march was set up, I was involved & I was front page news in the Pink Paper (well more my friend Lorna who had a banner saying Hated by the Daily Mail, but I was standing next to her with a banner saying it's a matter of Pride) after that time the politics really kicked in & it felt more important to march & this year the LGBT Interfaith Network are doing a rallying speech in support of gay marriage instead of a vigil (possibly more to do with the time of day because very few people want death with their lunch). A couple of years the community area was almost squeezed out until it was pointed out they would lose the council funding if they did & one year made it difficult so the community groups had to hold the pride organisers to ransom, which is not fair for either side. For goodness sake play nice with the community & they will play nice with you. But until all is equal & people start treating each other with respect, Pride will still be needed. We will get the tourists that come to gawp at the gays & want to create trouble, their will always be those who are there just to have fun (which to be honest even those on business should get a bit of fun out of it), there will be those who are there for the original if somewhat masked spirit of the occasion. Keep safe have fun & fly my pretties, fly.

Group Apathy?

At this current moment in time, in a couple of areas that affect my life, some more than others there is a distinct sense of apathy or perceived apathy. People are getting stressed about inaction or are already assuming there will be inaction so are not bothering, if people stop thinking things will be thus & start being proactive surely it should help chivvy people along rather than just assuming that people will not be willing & then not bothering to do anything about it, thus creating a self fulfilling prophecy. I have become an employee forum rep for the company I work for & it does appear that there is a sense that it is impotent so people think why bother, no one is going to listen to you if you don't say anything, so speak up & people may want to listen. this applies to other areas of my life too, but people taking this attitude is surely self defeating. If women, gay people & black people had such an apathy in trying to get their rights then they wouldn't have got them. Nothing is achieved by saying why bother, don't assume people wont be interested, don't assume things won't get done & maybe, just maybe you will be proved wrong.

Would the world be a better place without money?

With the world seeming to be going belly up financially at the moment it almost makes me feel that it would be better if we didn't have money & people just did skill & product exchange, no corrupt bankers screwing people over, no wars over financial gain & no imploding on a vast scale that could leave us all doomed. It could be argued that society would not have advanced so much without out it, but have we advanced? We have nice things yes, society has expanded, we trade further afield & therefore communicate further afield, We experience different cultures more as we travel, though as to whether we treat them as positive or negative comes down to the individual. We still need law enforcement though, to keep people from doing wrong, we still get sick, we are living longer but half the time we are sticking our older generations into retirement homes to let someone else take care of them & shipping our children off to child minders or nurseries from an ever younger age so we are longer bonding with the older or younger generations like we used to, just so we can earn more money. I suppose it all comes down to status, people think that money is the key to that, are they wrong? Should money equal power? Are we failing our poor just so we can lord over them with our money, shouldn't we be helping all of society? Would having no such thing as money sort out these problems? Money is just a man made construct, if we reset the worlds finances as zero in all countries or cancelled all debt would the world end up in a better place because of it? Would making one pound equal to one euro, one dollar, one yen etc make the world a fairer place to live in, with people earning from their commodities but not then going from country to country for a better deal as their money is worth or in a different country? It is hard to tell but soon the world's economies could implode with the euro destabilising even further with the possibility that Greece may have to pull out & that Spain & Italy could also need bailing out, it could then be that Germany, the richest country in Europe could see it finances going down the toilet which could see the economic world come crashing down as Europe is one of the major powers in the economic market. I'm hoping things will turn out well in the end but until things either settle or go horribly wrong we will not know how best to tackle whatever financial situation is on a personal level. Hopefully if we keep paying our taxes that the government will try to see the country right (though not holding my breath)

2012 The Year of Dead Musicians?

It does seem to be the year of it doesn't it? not sure whether I'm noticing it more but there does seem to be some quite notable deaths this year & we aren't even half way through. Will this be the cursed year for musicians? Is it a dangerous year for them? Perhaps its the Mayan Calendar's fault, well what ever it is we have lost a lot of talent so far this year. Makes me wonder who is next. (fingers crossed for Celine Dion, on second thoughts scrap that otherwise we will be subjected to My Heart Will Go On over & over & over again & that is not something you would even wish on your worst enemy) Goodbye to:-
Herb Reed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbQuYgPrM0k&ob=av2n
Robin Gibb http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yAkkpbm_8E
Donna Summer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8TBmeK9Abg
Donald 'Duck' Dunn http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-7QSMyz5rg
Adam Yauch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBShN8qT4lk
Tommy Marth http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FufL80hJsP8
Chris Etheridge not my taste but they ho http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwPTYimAE7E
Earl Scruggs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_NUVf3Pysg&feature=fvst
Greg Ham http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeG-hNXXy6I
Barney McKenna http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46EXY4oP1Do
Davy Jones http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfuBREMXxts
Whitney Huston http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eH3giaIzONA&ob=av2n
Kay Davis http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnVHtelH1rE
Etta James http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsSS9VcMidA

There have also been a lot of opera singers & organists that seem to have died too but have to admit they are not in my repertoire. So if you are a musician take care. I hope not to have to add more onto this list.

I'm also writing this on the day of a none musical friend of the family's funeral goodbye Bob

Herbal Remedies for Hayfever

I'm no stranger to herbal remedies, I have used a fair few in my time to great effect, at the moment though I'm using eyebright for my hayfever & although it is doing its job it should come with a side effect warning that it may leave you with your eyes not adjusting automatically from sleeping to being awake, as I wake up with dilated pupils & everything looks a little blurry first thing, it does go after a short time, this is not written on the bottle & it is sold as a dietary supplement, though what its dietary values are I'm not entirely sure. I have tried giving local honey ago, but getting local honey is not easy & can be expensive, but again works, it puts the pollens in your system so you are less sensitive to them. Lavender is also good but is generally a good all rounder anyway, though I have run out of this. So when taking herbal remedies do look up its side effects, make sure that they are suitable for you, as some herbal preparations can trigger off health problems, negate the effects of medication, leave you sleepy or may not be suitable for use in pregnancy. I'm hoping to have a sneeze free year without feeling drunk on antihistamine or having to wash eye gack off my eyelashes just to open my eyes

The Meaning of Dreams

Do you have a dream dictionary? A dream journal? Does the interpretations from looking up even fit? I find when looking at dream dictionaries they seem ill fitting or even contradictory & a jumble that doesn't even make sense. i tend to try & put the rational sheen on it for instance this morning I had a dream that I was in a teddy bear shop that also had a soft play area in it, I met with an old school acquaintance of mine,  I was also with my partner & I kept losing both of them & all kinds of cakes & refreshments were being served there & all I wanted to do was buy a teddy bear. So this is how I have interpreted it, yesterday I saw a post from said school acquaintance about him taking his son to the cinema for his birthday, this is why he appeared in my dream, his son is only young so that wouldn't make it unheard of that he was in a teddy bear factory, my reason for being there I found out that I'm an 'uncle' again (the quotation marks will disappear when marriage happens), as my partner got a text at ridiculous o'clock in the morning saying that his sister had given birth. The cakes & refreshments I put down to the bake sale that the chaplaincy had to raise money for Christian Aid (which raised an impressive £157) & the soft play bit came from a post I saw on UK Pagan about a bouncy castle of Stonehenge. The reason I kept losing people is whilst most of these things were happening I missed out doing them or something else during yesterday. Logical maybe but when you them all together it makes sense, it is not a case of what is happening in the future but your brain processing things that have either happened or you need to do, but somewhere in your head everything jumbles up into one place, either that or it was that I ate too much cheese last night.

I think I've forgotten something

You know those nagging feelings you get, sometimes it is teamed up with the paranoia did I remember to do whatever it is usually lock the back door or switch the oven off, which when you are walking down the road & then all of a sudden do a U turn must make the people in my neighbourhood think I am nuts, which admittedly many people accuse me of even my nearest & dearest. At times it makes me think I am paranoid or OCD, but I have come to the realisation that it is neither, as the other day whilst setting out for work I got halfway up the road & thought I don't remember locking the back door or switching of the oven, I went back to check & low & behold I hadn't. Last night I thought I had left the oven on when I went to check it was off, but I new there was something I had missed, I hadn't closed the window downstairs. So other than my tending to get distracted & general mind on too many other things than what is in logical order I find that it is good survival instinct. But there are times when I do things as a course of habit & pay no attention to doing it. Most of the time I double back on myself I find that the house is all safe & secure & I beat myself up for not having the confidence in myself not to have forgotten anything. I also forget my shifts at work a lot generally because I'm taking all the things I have to do or need to ponder on from the day. I have tried writing down my shifts but most of the time my shifts change so that is about as much use as a chocolate teapot. I often find that I have to phone in to find out, they must get fed up of me doing it & I very much apologise for that. I just thank goodness that...... oh the irony I can't remember where I was going that statement, I will kick myself later, nope still not there. I shall leave it at that & post a reply if I remember where I'm going with it. Yours forgetfully Pagan Chaplain

Is gay marriage doomed before we even get it?

With the political dust settling, with few people voting, the Conservatives are being told to scrap some of their policies including gay marriage & concentrate on squeezing more money out of the poor to line rich peoples pockets, sorry I meant get us out of the recession, sorry that should be credit crunch to sound more like a cereal rather than the monetary sink hole we are in. I have one question, why? Gay marriages will provide income for people, so therefore will boost the economy. Plus they want to ditch the nasty party image so giving equality would also do that. There are very few bills put through parliament that don't get someone's back up somewhere along the line. At one point my view on the Tory/coalition government was softening a little because of this (when I say softening it went from stone to house brick level of softening). So why are they backing down? There are some senior members of the church who are anti us, not all of them but so far the ones that are getting most of the press attention are. But the church does not own marriage & it never used to in this country until the Reformation. Plus there are religious groups who are backing the bill. They could kill 2 birds with one stone though at this time of year the only game birds in season are pigeons & Canada geese. Please everyone support the bill for gay marriage we are so close, we can't lose it now. This Birmingham Pride instead of a vigil we (Birmingham LGBT Interfaith Network) are doing a support of gay marriage ceremony, please come along & show your support.

Dragons

I see many people on Pagan forums with pictures of dragons on them, some of them have the notion they walk/fly/slither among us, it does kinda make me cringe a little as my theories on dragons are less than romantic. It would be cool to have them exist, perhaps that is just the fantasy geek inside of me coming out, but as per usual I have my theories on such creatures & more & more recently I'm finding people who agree with me & have found books & even saw a TV program that also backed it up. Dragons are in fact misinterpreted dinosaur bones, it is difficult to say that it isn't feasible, they are giant hulking great lizards, some even fly some swim in whole sea serpenty way, they lay eggs, they are found underground & it they are always put in a time long ago, in times when people didn't know much about the whole evolution thing, so this was how they explained them. If you compare cultures like the Chinese, Native Americans (though they are described as water monsters, thunder birds & thunder horses) & the Greeks you will find similarities, the dragons may not not look exactly alike but then the numbers of different species of dinosaur could account for that. It does become a bit cloudier when the mythologies of dragons come to a slightly more modern mythos, with Saints killing/taming dragons it is thought that it is actually a euphemism for a Pagan Viking leader just as the same that serpents were Druids. In the case of the Lambton Worm it could have been an exotic snake such as a python or just a regular adder or grass snake that people were scared of & when it was killed the tale was over exaggerated (the I caught a fish & it was this big tale springs to mind). But then what are people seeing when they see dragons today? Are they allowing their mind to wander to a place where fantasy & reality merge, like when I daydream or go into a meditative state? Are they channelling the spirits of the past? Or is it just a trick of the eye? Or is it a face that is put on spirit of place? Whatever it is I will still be spellbound by Skyrim & legends of these mysterious beasts whatever they are, as you should never let the truth stand in the way of a good story.

Facebook Game Notifications

I was one of these people, I would play Farmville etc, but now I don't. apart from the monotony of the games that used to take up hours of my time the biggest thing that annoyed me was the notifications when I achieved something or making requests for something I needed. It clogged up my social feed, anything profound that was said got lost in a mass of cutesy pictures that meant little more than I had way too much time on my hands. It filled the strong sunlight hours which I would not go out in unless absolutely necessary but that was all it did. I have got to the point where I'm getting fed up of request from other people to play a game that I left as it was so mind numbing that I was only habitually playing it. A colleague of my partner was having difficulties with the processing speed on his smart phone & had a friend whose only posts were 'HELP' repeatedly with no pictures or follow up dialogue & being the dutiful got onto the phone to friend wondering what was going on & being rather concerned, when his friend didn't answer panic set in until one call got through to him only to explain that he needed a budgie for his pet shop game. I have no objection to people playing the games but the clogging up of Facebook with all the pictures does get me annoyed, it never used to as I was one of those people, but now being an outsider it bugs me & the fact that you can buy vouchers for said games is a little worrying too as what's the point? So if you play them that is all well & good but could you make your requests internal between friends who do play them & keep your achievements hushed? as it is taking longer for me to scroll down my pages. I would also like to say sorry to those who had to put up with me doing the same for a couple of years.

Why do people put so much stock in weather forecasting?

The wet weather did eventually make me grumble as my May Day plans of going to the Greenman Festival in Clun got cancelled due to the sustained rain turning the events field marshy & the level of the river Clun was dangerously high which is seems almost strange as it never really seems a deep river but hey ho nature is unpredictable at best. So why do we do weather forecasts? We only complain when they get it wrong, its sunny when it is supposed to rain, its howling a gale when there is meant to be a gentle breeze etc. Many people take what they say as truth rather than pattern reading & prediction & then they scoff at fortune telling saying it is all a load of hooey ignoring the fact that is what weather forecasting is. The term forecast is used in fortune telling too & they they use the word predicted a lot. So why is weather forecasting taken with less of a pinch of salt? There are computers that work it out yes, but computers can only deal with probabilities of data, fortune tellers on the other hand tend read a person's body language when they go to see them & can pretty much tell what is going on before the person has sat down, like it or not fortune tellers use psychology to help them predict patterns in a person's life, though I dare say many fortune tellers don't even realise they are doing it & think they have a mystical talent beyond all measure, people who are good at fortune telling are observant & will have noted in their brain certain patterns of behaviour which will also indicate how the person would normally act, the oracle that a fortune teller uses is a focus & as a prompt for things missed though sometimes the oracle will show up something entirely different but the reactions would be fairly similar. So if reading patterns & observing data & then making a prediction on what is seen is not for you take no notice to the weather forecast & pack for every eventuality of weather. I tend to do that anyway mainly because I forget to empty my bag & then wonder where either my waterproofs or sunscreen are when I'm panicking in a mad rush to leave the house on time, or is that just being forgetfully organised?

Do Animals Have Souls?

Well my pathworking went well on Tuesday, didn't write anything down just in case the rustling of paper distracted people from meditation & I had regained my ability to concentrate, it was well attended as far as faith focus session went & I was pleased the way it turned out. Various people in the pathworking saw animals in their visuals in their meditations, which being a wildwood working is not surprising I guess, but it was not the the last time that animals got brought up in a spiritual context that day as later on I got talking to our Catholic chaplain (which when we get into our little discussion modes can be quite interesting, sometimes we agree, invariably we don't, but agree to disagree & without coming much to a conclusion still shake hands). But we got talking about animals which is no surprise for those who know me & we got talking about animal conciousness, do they know the divine? Are we spiritually & otherwise superior to animals? He took the traditional Christian view on the subject, I being Pagan did not.

There was the argument about an animals ability to grasp concepts of the divine, can animals see the great divine, do they have their own version of it, Catholic chaplain said no, I said I'm not so sure what is there to stop animals having an idea of such concept, just because we don't necessarily know what they are thinking doesn't mean that they don't have any idea of such a concept, my mind drifted off to Neil Gaiman's Sandman novels & I did recommend he read them (lead balloon time). Then I found something that foxed him slightly more, the elephant graveyards & no clear disagreement happened. Then there was the argument that animals don't prepare their food & i pointed out that Japanese macaque monkeys do, they wash their food before eating & only in certain springs that it will also season their food too again the argument was not so clear cut, I should have also pointed to the point that bluebottles & little owls tend to prep food in their own ways too. Then there was the beautifying argument that kinda got lumped into the food argument, if I'd separated it out from it i could have pointed out that birds like the bower bird, magpies& adelie penguins decorate nests sometimes just because they like them or to impress a potential mate who will hopefully will, so they appreciate beauty, animals groom themselves & each other so understand the need for cleanliness & appearance, so what is there to stop them having spirit/souls.

I don't see myself as above other animals, but equal to, our brains maybe more developed & we may have move dexterity in our hands & tend to be better problem solvers, but isn't that more to do with the fact that we lack the natural defences of speed, agility, strength & noxious chemicals (barring the after effects of eating curry or over cooked cabbage). We may have built bigger houses but in that respect we could argue that we are getting in contact to our in bower bird & have the ability to use a larger array of tools, but without animals we would have little food either by direct or indirect production, they provide us with companionship, some fabrics, transport & awe at such beauty, how can you not feel connection with them on an equal level, we couldn't live without them, but I wouldn't like to put a bet on it the other way around. Also when the Pagan cultures that were & still are still around when the more modern communities came into contact with them they refer to animals as brother or sister as well as the plant kingdoms & they communicate with the spirit of them to live in harmony with them & they live freer lives believing it. We are not the uber species, many manials can kill us some which eat us like lions & wolves some don't like hippos & elephants, so let us not forget that. We maybe impressive in many ways but animals can be more so so don't write of their abilities in their minds yet.

Beltane for the Masses

I'm sorry if this is not my most coherent of posts but I'm still getting over the effects of a minor concussion from banging my head on the interior of my other half's car when he went over a pothole*. Trying to sell Beltane, the fertility festival in an interfaith environment is not an easy task, trying to not give the stereotype of licentiousness within our rankings. It is difficult how to word things so people don't get the wrong impression. I have marketed it a festival of creation for a start off. The focus of the meditation is about unlocking your inner beauty & in igniting the flame of creativity to help achieve, something which I can't remember the name of. It has come back to achieve their potential. I'm so going to have to write this pathworking down as I can't get my words out or I'm forgetting them one or the other. It is difficult to get across such a notion in such a way that people are trying to think you are trying to create a mass orgy in a rather inappropriate situation & further damage the stereotype of Witches & Pagans. I going to do my usual Wildwood Pathworking, though toned down a little in the symbology to make it more accessible to people of all faiths to join in. I'm sorry this will have to be it for my posting today as this is making my head hurt. I did have a whole layout in my head as to what i was going to say but with the head scrambling, I can't remember half of it or possibly most. Yours shaken, Pagan Chaplain.

*means curb unless my concussion made me blind as well as daft.

April Showers

It has rained a fair bit over the last couple of weeks, everybody is moaning about it but aren't they missing the bigger picture here? What is April known for weather wise? Rain, April showers, so why is everyone surprised it is raining in rainy season? Why are people grumbling about it? if you don't want to live in a place that has much rain, live on the south coast of Kent, then you will probably be glad of the rain when it comes. Seeing as though most of the country is facing drought this summer I would have thought that people would have been welcoming of the rain. I posted on facebook to a friend who was moaning about the rain, pointing pout the drought situation & how the rain is dealing with the possibility of it removing the threat of it, her response was, I don't use a hosepipe as I live in a flat, so therefore have no garden, I pointed out she still used water though, although I did miss a trick by not mentioning about the watering of the crops that provide her with food. If you are having such real problems with the rain get some waterproofs, some wellies & start splashing about in puddles, it is fun & brings back a certain amount of childhood innocence & mischief. rain it is good for us, even when the whole drip of water down the back of your neck sends unpleasant shivers down your spine or you find that your waterproofs have developed a leak. Enjoy the precipitation, Yours soggily, Pagan Chaplain

Agression

Recently I have been witness to or had to avoid aggression. But what does aggression actually achieve? Every time I come across it I end up thinking what a douche. In my eyes it doesn't suggest how powerful you are, just how much you haven't master your communication skills, leaving you feeling insecure. It also leaves other people feeling just as lousy as you, why can't people talk things over, OK there may end up a bit of bickering from time to time but keep your cool & you can sort your problems out quicker without that awkward time you have to spend in limbo to cool of & the fact you shouted once quite often leads to shouting again which is far from helpful. I have hardly ever argued with my current partner perhaps 3 or 4 times max, which is not bad considering we have been together for almost 8 years. I had a guy stare at me a couple of days ago, all I did was look in the direction he was in as he had kicked a drinks can, which snapped me out of a daydream & he thought its a prime time to start a staring competition, which by this point he'd crossed the road & he was direction I was walking in, he stared that usual fatal stare as he went past me but I didn't follow it, though I felt as though he was still staring at me & as I looked around to cross the road, out the corner of my eye I saw him still staring at me. I did want to go ask him if I'd done anything wrong for him to instigate it or clear up the misunderstanding but when someone is in that zone it is hard to break them out of it. Another couple yesterday starting shouting at each other for rather petty reasons, I looked over & the guy shouted back at his partner 'look even, that man's looking at you now, you are being so pathetic' I raised my eyebrows shook my head & carried on walking, i didn't want to get involved in that one either. I have found it best to stay out of other people's arguments as it only leads to trouble & one or both of the parties getting upset. It is hard to deal with it, there is usually a deep underlying cause for it. If you feel you are the brink of an argument, step back, look at yourself & what you are hoping to achieve, wonder will it better sorted by talking in a calm rational manner rather than flying off the handle saying something stupid or even getting physical in your aggression. You can deflate a balshy rarara type person by being calm & reasonable & then leave feeling smug knowing that they were the ones who looked unreasonable & not you.

A Lack of Concern for Others Well Being

Yesterday I saw a woman fall over a child at the bus stop, she landed on her face & the bridge of her glasses had cut into her nose. I was standing a another bus stop the row behind hers, when I heard one of the ladies who were in front of me waiting for the bus say she's down. Kind of dismayed that none of them looked like they were going to see if she was to be alright, which is contrary to my attitude, I went over to help, & while trying to get someone to offer up something more than a tissue that would only disintegrate & leave pieces stuck in the cut, thankfully another lady got out a clean hanky which would suffice. I not on my own helping her by any shot, there was another lady there who got to her quicker & was doing a good job & there was only little I could do. But whilst I was over there I heard an elderly I would say gentleman but that would be doing gentlemen a disservice, say will everyone who is getting on the bus get on the bus, this was said with obvious impatience in his voice. As it happens the bus driver was not letting people on the bus as he was calling for medical back up, I felt my blood boil but refrained from having a go at him so not to draw attention to or embarrass on the woman who had cut her nose, but I did shoot him an evil look. It is not the first time I have done first aid on someone & made myself late for things because of it, but am I in a minority of people who actually give a damn? I ended up being late to my first day volunteering at a drop in centre once when a woman with cerebral palsy fell into the the road & I was only one of 2 people who came to help her, she sprained her ankle, I did the best I could & phoned for medical assistance due to the way she fell, just in case I had missed something. I keep thinking why does it happen to me, but I really it doesn't I just pay attention to anything to people if something out of the ordinary happens to them. I give up my seat on a bus or on a train for someone who needs it more than me if I'm not sanwiched in by someone who doesn't care & is unwilling to move. I don't consider myself special, different, overtly altruistic or superior for it, but why do people not help, what goes on in their minds that makes them ignorant of others. It take much to help someone out & afterwards you get an overwhelming sense of doing the right thing, plus if I was in such a situation myself I would like to think someone would help. This has happened as a a couple of old ladies helped me off a bus after I had sprained my ankle after landing awkwardly after jumping over a belfire in flip flops (which was quite embarrassing & is not something I will ever do again). Yours Helpfully, Pagan Chaplain.

The Non Joy of Cats

Don't get me wrong I'm not looking at getting rid of my cats (well most of the time I'm not), but I have found living with my two cats somewhat problematic. I get used as a scratch post, so I occasionally look like I'm self harming. I get pestered for when their bowls are full & one minute they like a certain food, then they decide no I don't like it & leave it for it to go manky, though sometimes they will let another cat in the neighbourhood eat it & then say look at me I've eaten it can I have food now I'm hungry. They lie on their front on any thing black, on their back on anything white, so they will leave noticeable hairs on things. They do not leave you alone when you are on the computer or reading something. When they want fuss they offer you their head & before you no it you have a face full of cat butt. They do kamikaze runs at your legs when you are carrying something large enough for you not to be able to see what is at your feet, so you end up booting them across the room & spend the next 10-15 minutes chasing round to see if they are OK only they don't want to be anywhere near you now even though they the ones who decided to try & cause you grievous injury in the first place. They want to come into the bedroom when I'm trying to get intimate & will start mewing & scratching at the door, which is incredibly off putting. If you are not out of bed when they want you to be & your other half has left the door open as he is getting ready for work, they will jump onto the bed & be loud & restless until I get out of it so they can have the bed to themselves, if they feel the need to cough up a fer ball or are going to be sick, they will head straight to a carpeted area of the house even though they were in a wipe clean area when they first got the need to disgorge. If I have just planted something in the garden they decide to use the area as a toilet so it doesn't grow. Jezebel brings frogs in & Gabriel likes catching sparrows which are declining in numbers. They also like scrabbling into the bin to dislodge anything that they think will taste good & then leave it in the middle of the kitchen. They will hide in inaccessible places when it is their/your bedtime & will stand over the crux of the door when you want them either to go in or out of the house which is hugely annoying when need to leave for work. They also claw the carpet & the sofa. Can anybody tell I'm having a bad cat day?

Power Obsession

People are obsessed with power nowadays, those who have it, those who want it & who don't want to lose it. I have an uneasy relationship with power. When I wanted it I didn't get it, when I didn't want it I got it. I tend to stumble into these things rather than seek them out, but I'm willing to relinquish it when the time comes. As Aung San Suu Kyi said 'Gaining power does not corrupt people, trying to keep it when you have it does'. Other than having an ego trip, which will ultimately be your downfall, clinging onto power is destructive, you only need to look at the problems of the Middle East, North Africa, Zimbabwe, Russia & Burma to see that. It is undignified & will ultimately lose you friends, allies & respect, you will look desperate & you will lose credibility. There is nothing wrong with trying to achieve power by positive means, but bullying your way to the top will make things brutal on your descent. All things have cycles & the Wheel of fortune will deal its fate on you. the 3 figures on the card of the wheel of fortune are traditionally the dog/Anubis whose motto is 'I will rule' the lion/Sphinx 'I rule' & the snake/Typhon I have ruled. those who have had power but it is on the wane advise those who are at the top, those at the top should listen to those who have gone before & support those who are on their way up. A beneficent ruler does gain respect & is far less criticised in the long run as long as they are able to do the job they set out to do. I feel lucky in the fact that we live in a democracy, where ultimately the power is to the people, we have a right to protest & we can vote our leaders in & out of power, which is more than what some people around the world can do.

Eccentricity

I have my quirks, I'm proud of them, many people, call me weird or strange, I take those phrases as a compliment. I would hate to think I was ordinary, though when I was school I tried my best to 'be normal' & fit in. I was always one of the geeky kids but didn't particularly fit in with them either as they were all sci-fi & I was all nature. But when you are an adult you try your best to be different, try not to be boring & mainstream, as it the things that make you stand out that make you more appealing, people like a sense of mystery in the initial part of meeting you. Vacuousness doesn't hold people's attention for too long before they get bored & walk off. And those who are bland really on the look at me attitude & then get uppity when you don't pay them attention. Indulge in your slightly more unusual hobbies (& I do mean that in the plural as if you only have one subject to talk about again you would fit in the dull category), because even things like nature watching can prove interesting to people if you present it right. Plus some of your experiences might then go on to inspire other people to do things out of the ordinary & become extraordinary. If you are quirky but shy try finding a group of people first who you share at least one common interest in & if possible make it one where it requires feedback or where comments are welcome. this will boost your confidence in your quirky side & when you come out off your shell people appreciate it more, you may end up fitting in more to the wider community too as you will have found your voice. So geeks, freaks & eccentrics around the rejoice in your quirks & never be normal again. Yours freely, Pagan Chaplain

The Evil Men Do

It always surprises me how some people have such little regard for human life, to have to go through a memorial for someone who is murdered is hard, seeing the reactions of the family & friends of victim, it would take a cold hearted person not to be moved & disturbed that someone could inflict death on someone & pain on all who knew that person. It is an experience that I hope I never have to repeat. When I became a chaplain I knew it wasn't going to be all tea & scones but nothing prepares you for this. My thoughts go out to those who knew the victim. I can never get my head round how people can such things, what would drive a person to such a place where they think it is a good idea, how they would get away with it & ignore the possible consequences of their actions. What leaves their moral conscience, I guess we will never know, I'm just thankful it is not such a frequent occurrence. However angry I have ever felt I have had the the sense of reason & I don't lose the consequential thoughts of the aftermath so never get myself in the place where I would be able to do something drastic or heat of the moment, but then I seldom get angry as I find it unhelpful. Hope none of you have to go through this, stay peaceful. All the best, Pagan chaplain.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Sorry for the lack of recent posting, this has not been because I have run out of things to say, that will never happen. I have just been rather busy & not in a way that has been conducive to updating my blog. It seems that my cold was only the least of my worries, though not sure how much I can talk about any of the incidences that have made the last week difficult. I took on my chaplaincy role not expecting it to be all tea & scones, but I didn't expect to be dealing with some of the things that have happened last week. I also didn't think I would have to deal with some of the situations in my other job either, but I would like to thank my other half for being an extra set of ears, it is valued. I would also like to wish my friend Becky good luck in her new job, will miss working with you. Hopefully normal service will resume soon. Today may look promising for another post.

Man Flu, Not on My Watch

Today I have a cold, lovingly given me by the birthday boy last Sunday. So why does it slow down some people more than others. OK I feel like rubbish but I still have things to do. My world does not stop just because of the snuffles, today I have fix the toilet seat, plant peas & do the weekly shop, as well as general household chores. I maybe a bit more sleepy than usual that is true but boredom sets in too quickly with me, I hate daytime television with a passion & not doing things because of a minor ailment leaves me feeling guilty beyond belief. My advice for people with a cold is:

carry a good supply of tissues
eat spicy food
drink hot toddies
avoid dairy
put eucalyptus, tea tree & lavender oils on your pillow (Olbas oil will also do the trick)
keep active
sleep when need be
don't milk it, you will only feel worse, your mental state does affect your healing time

For those with colds who are 'dying on the couch', call yourselves men? My grandma stays more active with a could than you. For those of you who do actually have conditions where a cold can kill you the above statement does not apply. The world is still turning & I'm carrying on regardless, yours lurgified, Pagan chaplain.

I however retain the right to wear trackie bottoms, a hoodie & a t shirt for maximum comfort