Wednesday, 8 April 2015

When is Helping Out Being too Clucky

I visit my mum & dad once a week, with my dad not being in a good state, unable to string a proper sentence together & finding day to day tasks harder to do so that he has carers around to help him shave, shower & get him changed I do feel protective of him, but I also don't want to appear clucky or for that matter too distant or unhelpful. Finding that delicate balance is difficult. I try to be helpful but not mollycoddle but sometimes I'm wondering if I am not doing enough. I help when he is indicating something by either pointing or putting together as many words as he can, but he can be hard to understand now as he will lose the words he is trying to think of which sometimes aren't clear. The problem is, is distinguishing what is the frustration of not being able to communicate & physically cope with things as well as he used to from the frustration of being fussed over, seeing as though he was very independent.

Through all this though I try to keep the humour up & try to make him laugh at least once when I am there & talk to him as if we're having a normal conversation as I feel that it is important as he loves a good wind up, good jokes & a decent conversation, without talking down to him as he is still the same person. I help out with some housework too, so hopefully it is of use too both of my parents who are struggling at the moment, but there are times which I feel I should be there more, but would that mean I'm becoming a nuisance as other friends & family members come to visit & I don't to crowd him, plus I realise I can't put my life on hold either. i guess I'm just venting trying to find out my place in all this, thanks for listening.


  1. Knowing you, I'm sure you are striking the right balance and laughter is a great gift; he will appreciate it more than you can know.

  2. It sounds like you are taking into account of his needs and wishes in a very considerate way. Like you say it is a very tricky balance but I am sure you are doing it well love. Xx